What the

bleep do we know is simply one of those things in my life that has changed it.....
i am ready to go deep into the rabbit hole
oh yeah

seriously i saw this film a week ago
and ever since
my life has not been the same
a string of adventure
of my dream unfolding at quantum speed quantanium speed light speed nano speed

if you have not seen the film What the bleep do we know
you simply have to
puts reality into a whole new perspective
or rather validates those gut feelings
you have to watch it in the dark with big headphones on your head and absorb
like a trip into infinite ocean of possibilities

i am happily busy recreating reality

see you down the rabbit hole

After a week

of serious self doubt and identity crises i have reached the following conclusion: i can't be anything else than a poet, a writer, an artist. i wish i could but i can't. sometimes i wish i could be something else. it would be so nice to have no calling. just float through life without thinking anything but the newest car models and next episode of guiding light. would be nice to work without ever thinking about the rights of the fellow co workers, collapse in front of the telly with a big juicy steak and never think of animal rights. to eat processed food and handy junk food and spend the early mornings driving next to other non thinkers in machines instead of in nature. it would be nice to hand over all my willpower and judgment to politicians and to put my health into the hands of doctors. it would be nice to never ever think of anything but myself and how i can possibly possess more. but no i can't, no matter how much i would like to turn my brain off and forget everything i have learned. that is the curse of knowing, you can't take it back. i can't reform, i am possessed by the virus of knowing. i can never turn it off.
i am drowning in volunteer work, i won't get paid for it, i won't get any glory for it or even good will. but i have to do it. because i know that if i don't do it, i can't be sure that anyone else does it. i am possessed with the knowledge that i as an individual has the power to change the world. but the big question is how can i do it without killing myself in the process.

the good news are i am writing poetry again
and in the process i feel alive again