today

was a twilight zone day
a really creepy day
full of pro heavy industry
pro aluminum smelters in iceland
more more more
let us change the name of this island to aluminiumland
in icelandic álland instead of ísland
then we can speak álísku and all work in the save environment of the aluminium smelter
more more more
it is after all green sustainable stuff
our industrial minister says so
(i think she is a troll)
and people love to smelterlterters
and who cares about the nature here
no one ever goes there anyway

and to top it no to writers grant for the amazing joy b
i have to admit that i am about to give in to my smokaholic desires
and feel very sorry for myself

but hell no, little did they know that i am the HULK
and i dont know what really happens when i get mad
and i can feel it bubbling the anger the resentment the selfrighteousness
i got to go out and smash things
like dams and big drills...

a few glorious moments later
i feel a lot better now;)

i have found the rock of the oracle
steam from the womb of creation
mass of liquid heat
constantly moving deep
under our feet
i have opened my mouth and sucked in the hot air
from the fumes
from the dormant geyser

the future altered
i could see
clearly for a split second

i was
not
the same
again
nor was my shape shifting past

in my kitchen

my ancestors
hibernating look at me, they are in frames
unknown faces i have never seen but traces
of those faces in the people i love

what matters to me
is not the volume of my work
but how many hearts i really moved
inspired and healed

i know i love myself
tonight i served myself the ceremonial love tea
from me to me

i can easily look into the mirror and feel that in love butterfly love in love love love
to me...

to that extent i am narcissistic, but i like it
i like to be alone
i have never loved it as much as now
i am finding fragments of myself i thought i had lost or i had totally forgotten i had
i am in my cave, very anti social, and i am hibernating
because this summer
this summer
will be unforgettable

say no more

new blog to read, another joint venture of me and theHand... all about Diane999 the graphic novel we are working shaping moving shaking forming sounding singing into creation

PRIVATE

is a quarterly review of photography and writing. This independent and itinerant publication has been offering its photographic journey since 1992 and I am going to have a poem in the February Issue. It is a beautiful beautiful magazine. The photos breathtaking... to say the least. So I am happy and more happy to be in it. I wrote a poem specially for this forthcoming issue dedicated to the concept NIGHT. Go on, go and have a look at this magazine... link is in my link selection to the right....

Icicles: Ravens: Snowstorms: and the Rain

I am a classic Icelander, i get pulled by the strings of the weather Gods. Today i can see the sun, it is glowing yellow ball trying to push up behind the mountains. It has been so long since i saw that i am not sure what to do about it. Should i just go outside and try to suck the rays into my skin, at least my face before it is gone again for god knows for how long. Or should i be an optimistic and think well everyday is getting a bit longer, so the chances of seeing the bright redhead are growing as we speak.....

In the last week we have had lots of snow, i like that, and beautiful icicles, nice to eat: i made snow troll yesterday with Delphin, she is still standing, despite the rain. I live between the fourth and the fifth floor, like a little mountain to climb everyday. The ravens like to hang around this department house. I love their raw sounds, and i like to see them fly. Always so playful.


We have had lots of storms, even snowstorms, i like them a lot, i like to be in the whirlwind of the blizzard, nothing but whirling snow and the sound of snow falling, ever so silent and so bitterly cold on the face, stick the tongue out, hunting for the cold aftertaste of the snowflakes.

HaPpY New YeAr 2006

Yes the year 2005 is gone done over with. A great year. Like all years in the world of Joy B it was full of challenges and strange occurrences. But it was a good year. Not so much because of success, money, fame or things like that, but because of perspectives. I changed. SO everything else changed. Such is the power of the mind. This new year will be no less interesting. I can already sense the challenges: death, alienation, fear and such perfect adversaries of stagnation. I don't have to be anything else than me. I have shed my skin, the ever perfect chameleon is an illusion. I am not perfect, i am not anything what people think i am. I am liquid, solid liquid, flaming liquid.

Enough of this. Last night was perfect. Instead of expectations of external, joy, happy happy joy joy, I was all that in a strange sort of way, it was moving within me, like the still wind before the storm. I stood firmly with my non traditions. I like solitude, so i spent the night with my kids and did nothing but be with them, training delphin how to ride a bike in da flat and of course watching the fireworks on and off. (see last years blog around this time for explanation of icelanders and firework)
I made the worlds best vegan lasagne, poured into it good fortune, joy and creativity. I will never be able to make one just the same again. I have a great difficulty in repeating myself and that includes cooking. Never use recipes. My food is like a mandala, created from the moment, to be enjoyed then but never again. It makes it much more special somehow. Yes cooking is alchemy. I am the alchemist in the kitchen. It has been a very well kept secret for only me and my kids. I am very lousy host. I don't like to be host. So i don't invite people for dinner. If anyone is ever invited over for dinner, that means something special. Not special special, but special from that fabric of the moment.

During this New Year i want i want to feel as i do now in this very moment: a glowing in my heart, like a crazy light-bug buzzing for no reason at all except gratitude and a sense of serenity.